Saturday, December 20, 2014

Kim Jong-Un Hacks Sony, Merges with Like Minded Self Acclaimed Chiropractic Visionary - just in time for Xmas

In exciting news, Kim Jong-Un, supreme leader of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (North Korea) has expressed a desire to team up with self proclaimed "world ambassador of Chiropractic", Liam Schubel, creator of and chiropractic students who can't legally practice in Europe (except Spain).

Liam on South American Tv doing education stuff "Magic juice comes our here, here and here".

"We have a connection", the Korean leader said in a rare interview. "When my minions alerted me to Liam's passion for 'World Domination' I just knew we had to hang out together. I mean we speak the same language, really, and it's all about not being all that interested in petty things, like proper education or that 'fact' stuff", he said using air quotes.

Kim Jong Un - "We have a connection" he said of like minded Liam. "It's all about keeping it real and world domination and stuff".
Until recently the two thought leaders had never crossed paths. "I was just too busy with my hall of mirrors complex and taking selfies", said Liam, from his twitter, facebook, youtube, blog, TV, etc accounts, "But when that Sony Corp shit went down because of the Korean hackers, it really grabbed my attention. I mean, why didn't I think of that?"

Indeed why? Critics of supreme leaders, cults and other like minded individuals are often criticised for creating plagues of pesky rational discussions of complex issues such as basic education, global health burden, separating church and state and special unicorn magic.

"This 'fact' thing is overrated", Mr Schubel remarked from under his panama hat. "This is why Kim and I get along so brilliantly. We've got the 'evidence' stuff covered, who needs other peoples information when you can just make things up to suit yourself." "I learnt that at that place where I got my edamuhkashun. It's simple - Magic up there, comes down here, I get in there and hey presto! Ethics?! Get 'em young, I say, those Jesuits had it sussed way back".

Liam being an ambassador of special education - "When I touch people, Jesus comes out of these holes and voila, good stuff!" (Photo courtesy of Liam Schubel and the public domain)

Interviewer - I understand that you tell children that misaligned bones block 'nerve flow'.

LS - Have you heard about my new book? It's totally awesome.

I - Yes. I was interested about your nerve flow idea. I understand that can't actually happen, that even people with severe spine trauma don't suffer from organ failure. Apparently the actual anatomy is far more complex and doesn't have any support from over 99% of science. Is that so?

LS - It's a conspiracy. All my friends say 99% are liars. We optomomise potential. It's like totally awesome and really popular.

I - Optimise?

LS - Yeah. Have you read my book? It's awesome. I love it!

I - No, I haven't yet but I was wondering about this ner......

Kim - Hey LS! Is this guy bothering you?

LS - No it's cool. Have you read my new book?

Kim - Yeah, it's like totally awesome, I liked the bit about world domination.

LS - It's about passion and serving humanity. It's awesome.

Kim - Yeah, that's what we call it too, serving the people, domination, same same. It's awesome.

I - Mr Schubel. Just quickly, this 'nerve flow', I mean don't you think it's important for chiropractors and patients to have the latest information. It seems quite impor.......

LS - Optomomise.

I - Some have mentioned ethics....

LS - We release the energy. It's sciencey. It's awe....

I - Yes, I understand however there are some potentially serious issues here, ethics, fraud....

LS - Huh?! No, we opto.., what fraud?

I - Well it's basic consumer law. Professionals aren't protected by the same rules as individuals. If you gain informed consent using false and misleading information a professional...

Kim - Listen mate, I think you've had the take home message. World domination isn't a walk in the park you know.

LS - Service to humanity.

Kim - Whatever.

I - What about the accreditation problems, medicare fraud linked to poor education and high volume sales. You've promoted Joe Borio through the IFCO. He was convicted of medicare fraud. There are a few angry students..

LS - They're all against us. We're serving humanity.

Kim - High five!

LS - Have you read my new book? It's awesome............

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